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...i will be 62, waiting up all night watching for the lunar eclipse. because apparently i missed it last night. BOO. hahaha. i can't wait.
today...was the last day of my summer class. how did i do?? well, lets just say there's nothing more i can do. its over and done with. we'll see how it turns out. dont get me wrong, i love the class, but i've been having...computer issues in that class. so after class, i decided to hit up riverside because i wanted a long enough drive somewhere. i did contemplate driving to the beach but...i think i'll save that for another boredom moment. soooo, everyone was pretty busy at the moment so i decided on having a "MICHELLE AFTERNOON."
first stop, tofu house. nuff said. =). sike. okay, so on my way there i'm feeling bummed because i'm alone. although i dont really mind having time to myself, i kinda wanted to be around "yay" folks to share my "FREEDOM" with. but things turned around completely when i heard a STARBURST commercial on la radio. it goes something like this:
guy: hey whats up.
girl: uh, whats WRONG with your face?
guy: oh, hahaha. i'm eating the new sour starbust candy. they're really good. you know how you get that sour look on your face when you eat sour stuff. i'm almost done. *sigh* ahhh, good.
girl: now whats WRONG with your face?
guy: oh, i'm just ugly. i'm really just ugly.
funniest SHIZ i've heard in a long time...well, since musicfest when neal was telling me how i might know the same people as Passion. i honestly couldnt breathe.
next stop, barnes n nobles. i went to listen to some music for a lil bit and headed to the nursing section. i grabbed a couple books to flip through, seeing what area of nursing interests me the most. what caught me was the little boy who kept starring at me. he is absolutely adorable. he was all smiles.
final stop before i head home, university village. i was walking from this cute lil korean store to the theater and this pale, dark-haired 17-year old on a skate board said, "you look beautiful today." what a compliment huh? i smiled. some may think that i only smile because "i know i am." but really its because i dont know what to say. i walk a few more steps and laugh. because i felt scared of that kid. hahahaha. i'm a lame-o.
and now, here i am on myspace. loading more africa pics. i noticed that there were a lot of the "end of the trip" pics. i guess my first time loading the pics, i was REALLY glad to be on that safari. but Botswana was definitely an experience i will never forget. so check em out for a better picture of it was like there.
okay, this chapter is O-V-E-R. gnite.
btw, i just googled "lunar eclipse." they happen twice a year. not every 40 years. thanx jamie. hahaha. | | |
| I just added some pics. Yah, I tend to take a lot of pics. Point. Shoot. Then pick and choose the good ones. That's the beauty of digital photography these days.
Yah, we also pretty much had a mini-photoshoot on Sabbath. Hahahaha. Good times.
I'm not sure I like how the pictures are all lined up like that. But then I'm to lazy to take the time to mess with the htmlingness. Goodnight my beautiful people. | | |
| "ON THE LINE" with Lance Bass and Fatone...yah thats right, aka N'Sync. I just finished watching their movie on LA5 and although the acting isnt top of the line, the story was kyoote. And what I loved best was that it was nice to relate to...since it was like a "home made" video and all. Along with the awesome music of Al Green, it just soothed my soul. The last song Fatone sang, "I can fall in love tonight..." makes me feel like I AM in love. hahahaha. Wouldn't that be nice huh?
Friday, August 10, 2007
I need to get my camera cord from Crystal. So I can upload pics from Jill-Face's birthday SPA DAY. I've never been to a spa or even really knew what it was like. Although it's not a 5 star spa resort, it was actually really nice. Full access to the multiple lounge pools, spa tubs, mineral baths, and of course the MUD PIT. Now that was an experience. You'd be able to advance 60 years from now and have an idea of what you'd look like with wrinkles...a lot of them. Nurses get a discount too!! Hahaha, we gotta enjoy the benefits of going through nursing school and saving lives. ;)
There was a concert-thang in the park here in Grand Terrace. It was nice to hear band music again. It brought be back to my jr. high/highschool band days. Oh how I've missed those days...early mornings with practice. The feeling of being a part of a group that work hard...and have fun of course ;)...and be able to show it off at the end is pretty nice. There arent happy days EVERYDAY, it takes time and patience, which leads to success and satisfaction. Now that's a REAL relationship. Hahaha. Mindy also updated me on her scar. It's definitely healing.
Sabbath, August 11, 2007
Sooo, I couldnt sleep most of the night. I fell asleep reading to "Running With Sissors." Jill and I restarted the book while stuck in traffic earlier Friday. Sooo, there it was 2 am and I chat it up online and myspace a bit. I got too scared to take a walk outside. 4am hits and I still can't sleep...so I make spring rolls. HAHAHAHA. I know, lola status right?
I finally get sleepy @ 8am and knock out on the couch. When I wake up its about 10am and I hear Darren come to pick us up for church. "Man, how the heck to you make these, they're so good!!" Heck yah man, of course they're good. ;) Buut, I was cranky...what a girl can't be cranky in the morning at least once in a while??
Ahnyway (compliments of happyslip.com--auntie baby), so we go to church at Azure Hills. I really like that church. Its very homey-like. It reminds me of the younger years back in San Francisco. Running around the church, trading pot-luck food with the Koreans, hanging out with the other kids, washing dishes, VBS...the memories are endless.
Then we hit up Janice's crib for lunch annnd an unexpected preparation event for Byron's surprise party. It was pretty fun because we were rushing. Hahahaha, mangrapes and plumots. The surprise was a SUCCESS...well, even though he figured it out, he definitely enjoyed his "21st Debut." HAHAHAHA. Pics to follow when I get that cord from Crystal...
**Hal Fishman, it was my loss to not have realized how amazing of a person you are when you were still walking this world. Rest easy. I know, I get emotional with people I don't even know. I don't know why. I just saw the commercial.** | | |
| its been a loong time since i've been on here, let alone post up an entry. well, i've been wanting to post up a few tidbits of my day somewhere. so what better place than my xanga. first of all, i already forgot what i wanted to document for my day today. =)...let me think...yah i dont remember.
anyway, for a quick update on whats been going on, this past school year i started the BSN program in Loma Linda University. yay, after waiting for three months for my acceptance. i had to call the school and ask them if i was accepted, "we are currently fixing a typo on your acceptance letter. but yes, you have been accepted." so i guess i can now sign up for classes that were starting 4 days later. the LLUSN makes me question their credibility to certain degree.
besides school i was hired at Arrowhead Regional Medical Center in the Medical Intensive Care Unit as an offical RN. oh yah, i passed my rn boards as of August 20, 2006 (Happy 22nd Birthday to Andrew Luna). PRAISE GOD. so, mind that the only ICU experience i had in nursing school were four hours of documenting vitals at Queen of the Valley Hospital in Napa. ROITE. so you ask, "what were you thinking trying to work in the ICU then miss know it all." well, i DID want to get a job at LLUMC but recruitment wasnt much help. so i asked my mom to help me find a job. which led to auntie bella pretty much hooking me up with a job for the county hospital of San Bernardino. PRAISE GOD once again. to make a long story short (ask me for details if you're interested, we'll have lunch or something) working at ARMC was a great learning experience. i've never learned so much clinical work in the five months i was there than in nursing school for 2 years. some things i've never even heard of, which was surprising to some of my co-workers because its pretty "basic" stuff for icu. with that said, i was a wreck at work. being the passive-aggressive, emotionally driven filpina that i am, i tried to act like everything is okay and that everything is fine. dont get me wrong, i was a safe nurse, i asked for help when i needed it...when i really needed it. i asked questions...when i really needed to. may be due to the fact that i am a sheltered girl, it sort of hit me hard when i came across a world wide network of personalities. because quite frankly, i didnt know how the hell to react to certain people's sarcasm or blunt comments. i'm a nice girl. and nice girls dont know the meaning of really being "mean." PRAISE GOD for those who made me feel welcome and that IT IS OKAY TO FEEL COMPLETELY LOST AND WANT TO CRY. because they personally felt the same way when they first started. i did cry my first shift as an RN (Real Nurse).
i worked the full 72-84 hour schedule per pay period for about 4 months. the last month, my boss gave in and let me work 60 hours due to my school schedule. PRAISE GOD for school. it was my only reason to get out of work. i was miserable at work because i felt so out of place at times that made it difficult to ask the more questions that floated in my head. i was sleep deprived because i was working and schooling full time. i worked nights and school during the days. when did i study? i have no clue. i even got sick and my hormones were whack as show on my blood tests. i was always easily irritated and took my anger out on the people i most love.
i do believe that God set it up for me tho. the day i actually QUIT my job went a little something like this:
michelle: "could i work less hours because my school schedule is more demanding this quarter...is there a possibility for a 'leave of absence'...i guess i cant work then"
boss: "no, i scheduled for more hours the next pay period...if you leave i'd have to re-orient you and theres more money involved there...turn in your letter of resignation, goodbye."
seriously, i've never quit a job like this before. what do i do now? what DID i do? who do i call? someone help! by God's grace, he inevitably led me to Dawn. she too was at the time attending LLUSN and working on MICU at ARMC. and luckily, she used to work for a Human Resource department and helped me write the BEST letter of resignation i've ever written. well...the FIRST letter of resignation i've ever written. i went to ARMC that night , submitted a copy to the Nurse Manager and the Nurse Manager Assistant. fortunately i was also able to see the people that really mattered the most to me. it was a good closing to this chapter.
LIBERATION is the word that describes how i felt after i quit my job. USELESS is the word that describes how i felt a few days later when it hit me that i wasnt going to put on my scrubs and head to work. i had an RN license but wasnt using it.
the following week was finals week. i had papers upon papers to write. me and eager + wreckless self, i was downloading music (which i vow to never do again unless i'm downloading from someones iPod) and opened a window to infection on my lovely and innocent MacBook Pro. it somehow crashed and i lost my papers. JUST LIKE THAT. whatever, no time to grieve. must write and submit papers on time. i managed and pulled through...and received straight A's that quarter. PRAISE GOD.
spring break followed. you know what that means. wedding planning for my dear cousin Janice and her hubby-to-be Charles. i love Janice with all my heart and i know that if i ever needed someone to talk to or pick me up from "somewhere" she was there to do it. so of course in my right mind, i would graciously offer my assistance to her wedding planning sha-bang. and it would be an understatement to say that "i love this kind of stuff." day and night for that week, we did nothing but finalize seating arrangements, correct type-o's, put together programs, photoshop table photos, assist in making the cake...it was endless weddingness that i love so much. but definitely tired me out.
on March 23, 2007, two days before the wedding day, was the day our grandfather passed away. it also happened to be his 88th birthday as well. its another story to tell, but a good one. to make a longer story short, he was the most humble, God-fearing, wet kissing, wife chasing, disciplined army father, wise for his "mistakenly told" age, and caring man i know. and that is only cutting to the chase. it hit me harder than i imagined. this is the number 2 on my list of "worst cries." i didnt know how to express myself honestly because i am passive-aggressive, emotionally driven filipina who tries her hardest to show a strong face. but there will always be that moment when i can't hold it any longer. and fortunately, amongst many other times when i would cry myself to sleep, i was with family. and seriously was a turning point in my life, because i was able for once to truly see the people who mean most to me. and who my real friends were. God provides.
once school started again for spring quarter, i had the hardest time focusing in class. mainly in one particular class because it was nothing but lecture aka boring. it was boring because there wasnt much interaction. but i loved the class itself because people fascinate me. and to study community as a whole was intriguing on its own. besides that class i took statistics and a writing class. both which were more concrete classes that didnt require as much critical thinking. i ditched community a lot. and ditching brought me a non-passing grade.
my chosen clinical for my community class was in Botswana Africa. this is another long story. and to cut another long story short (this is my last long story for this entry) i've learned a lot about myself, other people, and countries outside of the United States. it has shown me more of my strengths and weaknesses, different personalities to run across, and an appreciation for the word 'united' in United States. i do truly believe that God has blessed me with the experiences that i have experienced in the past year. although it has been a rough-n-tough trip so far, it is definitely one that i will continue to learn and refer to for my continuing adventure.
as of now, i've come to realize that things in life don't have to necessarily be clearer to go on, but for the price at the end of the road to be brighter to keep me going. its all about trusting God to keep us on the road leading to where He is at the end of this pathway. although we may fall off here and there, He's always there to pick us up and keep pushing us forward to where we need to be. trust is a misconceived word due to false hope and disloyalty that this world has conveyed. through hardships and challenges of the world today, the world trust has been distorted and complicates the true meaning of it. i'd say, that's the hardest part of doing what we should be doing and being where we need to be in order to get where we should be. its a continuous challenge that i myself am excited about. because with each challenge, the more i draw close to my first true love. | | |
| i dont know what it is...but i'm not genuinely happy. someone help me find that again? | | |
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